Now that I’m stronger, that I recognize Resistance and combat it daily and dig deep beyond it, I’m at the cusp of a decision. I’m tending to the balance between Apollo and Dionysus. I’ve relied on Apollo during these amateur years. I couldn’t trust Dionysus with my lips let alone my life. I’m now looking at the outstretched hand of Intoxication and I’m afraid.

We were so reckless together. We burned it all down. There were lessons learned, about myself – deep lessons that I rely on now. Apollo took me in to teach me, to save me. Can I leave him now to return? Will they share?

Your post today was so prescient. I’m asking myself the question today. Am I ready? “Trust it” you replied, months ago.

I’m retooled, recalibrated – its not fair how smooth I run. Yes Steven, I’m back in the game. Thanks for saying what I already knew. Here, before and many times more I hope.

I’m only today getting acquainted with this blog because I am currently listening to the audiobook version of The War of Art (via a reference in Seth Godin’s Linchpin, I believe). WoA is having such an impact on me (like countless others I’m certain, I feel like you wrote it For Me), I had to utilize Google and the net to find out more about you.

Upon reading this particular post, I wanted to say how refreshing it is to read your comments about recent doubts, ‘scatteredness’(?), shallowness, etc. I almost used the word brave, but maybe you’d find that distasteful! Anyway, for myself, I actually find a bit of comfort in hearing that yes, even you- the guy who brought this great stuff into the world with such clarity, honesty, and insight- even you continue to fight the great, and ultimately worthwhile fight. After coming to terms with just how diabolical the resistance can be, could we have ever thought otherwise?

And then another thought (which was likely expressed by one of your other readers; I haven’t read through the other comments yet).. perhaps you just haven’t yet found that thing that has grabbed you enough to compel you to get back to that place you were in while writing Tides of War?

note to self: don’t use HTML tags if you don’t know how to close them, girl.

my apologies. only the quote was supposed to be in italics. obviously.

Those mornings were depth of work. I had momentum, I had commitment over time; I was busting my butt and really going deep, into a subject that I loved and that I didn’t care whether anybody else was interested in or not./

I know I can do good work, regularly, and bad work at times too, but I want to do great work. And if that requires a greater retreat from the outside world, so be it.

The real pain level, the way into the depths is through prayer. Depth only comes with honest self-knowledge. Self-knowledge only comes through prayer. Prayer isn’t a panacea or a petition, it’s way into the ugly Self safely.

The more you discover about God’s actual nature, you will correspondingly know about your own. This isn’t mystical or mysterious. It’s simply Process of Truth.

Annie
(First blog not yet published)

BUT he makes me think and stretch and go dig out my old theology notes. AND I’m an anchor and docking point for him. I collect all his debris, sort, and find the through-line. He’s the lightning and I’m the bottle. Except for the times we swap and I’m the sail while he’s the keelboard. I’m seventy; he’s sixty. We’ve both been around.

I’ve never done this with anyone else. He’s done it, but not quite this way. We get really angry sometimes but have the trust to cool off and the kindness to leave each other space, gates, places to hide for a while.

My skills are growing. You’d have to ask him what he thinks about his. Someday we might even manage to sell this synergy, but it’s so much fun that it doesn’t matter a whole lot.

Richard Stern and Saul Bellow used to write together. One at one end of the dining table and the other at the other. They wrote different things, but read out parts to each other. Both loved it, benefited from it. MUST one struggle alone?

Prairie Mary