Writing Wednesdays
Self-Doubt and Self-Reinforcement
By Steven Pressfield | Published: June 27, 2012
I never talk about a project I’m working on. It’s bad luck.
Charles Lindbergh and "The Spirit of St. Louis." Lindy wasn't just lucky.
But something happened a few nights ago that made me think I should make an exception, both for the sake of my own thinking and for sharing an insight or two. So I’ll keep depiction of the project vague but the wisdom as clear as I can make it.
I was at a professional event with a friend who, each time he introduced me to a new acquaintance, described and made a pitch for the project I’m working on. (Don’t ask why.) He did this a number of times despite my excruciating embarrassment.
Bottom line: everyone he told the idea to went catatonic with boredom. Their eyes glazed over. They began edging toward the exit. Though they were too polite to say anything overtly negative, it was clear that they regarded me and my enterprise the way one might a Comic-Con trekkie describing his plans for solar self-levitation or, perhaps, Newt Gingrich flogging tickets for his colony on the moon.
I went home pretty depressed.
The people at the event were by no means imagination-challenged “suits.” They were bold, savvy entrepreneurs. Almost every one had multiple success stories across all spectrums of art, tech and business.
And their reaction to my project was universal snooze-o-rama.
I thought about it and thought about it and I came to a conclusion:
They’re wrong.
They can’t see what I see.
They have a superficial conception of what I’m planning to do, but they have no idea of how I’m going to do it.
Then I asked myself a second question: Does negative response make you consider giving up?
Answer: not for a nanosecond. I don’t care what anybody thinks. I’m seized by this project and that’s it.
I thought about books of mine from the past. From Bagger Vance to Gates of Fire to The War of Art, practically no one has believed in them at the concept stage. (With the exception of Shawn Coyne—which is why he and I are partners today). Most people thought I was crazy. That idea? It’s been done a hundred times, nobody cares about that any more, what can you possibly say that hasn’t been said already?
There’s an axiom among artists and entrepreneurs: to succeed, you have to be arrogant or ignorant or both. What that means is you have to blow off every response that says it’ll-never-work. Be arrogant. The nay-sayers are idiots. Or ignorant. Stay stupid and plunge ahead.
So I had a little talk with myself. Literally. I dictated my thoughts into a tape recorder and played them back. I reminded myself that what makes a good idea good is the fact that it hasn’t been done before—and that most people can’t imagine what hasn’t been done before. What they imagine instead is a crappy version of what has been done before. Then they reject that.
I kinda like the idea of a colony on the moon. And I’m not so sure there’s no future in solar self-levitation.
In other words: self-reinforcement.
One of the hallmarks of a professional is the ability to be his own best friend. Sometimes when I’m driving, I’ll phone home and leave a message for myself.
Steve, we’re behind you, brother. Don’t let anybody tell you you can’t do it. Keep the faith, partner. You are on course and on target!
I always laugh when I get home (because invariably I forget that I’ve left myself the message). But the point is serious.
Almost no one recognizes a good idea at the idea stage. And the bolder the idea, the more people will be blind to it. That’s human nature. It’s the way the world works. If you’re seeking reinforcement from outside yourself, you’re in for a long, lonely haul. The answer to self-doubt is self-reinforcement.
Lindbergh made it to Paris, and you and I can too.
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Definitely one of the ways of feeling miserable as a writer, artist, etc. is expecting others (including family here) to cheer you, or even to care for what you do or plan to do. Learnt that the hard way
We’re frail human beings in need of appreciation, and I found this the most difficult thing to do: to be arrogant, stubborn, stupid and plunge ahead, leaving behind the chatter, the disapproving looks (type: ‘who does she thinks she is? a romanian, living in italy and writing in english! she’ll never make it!”. To that I always remind myself that Joseph Conrad did it, I can do it too), and why not, leaving behind people.
I’m still working on the self-reinforcement part, and I have an inkling that it will be a lifetime work
What I know for sure is that I won’t give up, even if my walk becomes trudging at times.
A great article, as always! Thank you!
bloody brilliant.
since I’m in Paris already, I’d rather make it to New York instead
Precis, Genau, Claro.
Breautifully told and certainly experienced. Thanks.
I keep finding evidence of a 4 year ‘delay’ before those who had the glazed over look twig (get it) with regards to what I do.
Let me end and share a phrase I heard recently: “Before you go doubting yourself, first make sure you’re not surrounded by doubters (or assholes, but that’s a harsh way of putting it)”
Regards All & Thanks.
the courage of your convictions!
Wow, thanks so much for this post! It is so timely for me. I opened up about a project I am working on to my father and it was squashed. Today, I have been really depressed about it and this gave me a beacon of hope.
“There’s an axiom among artists and entrepreneurs: to succeed, you have to be arrogant or ignorant or both. What that means is you have to blow off every response that says it’ll-never-work. Be arrogant. The nay-sayers are idiots. Or ignorant. Stay stupid and plunge ahead.”
To ignorance and being stupid
Thank you, Steven.
Krishan
Sound like you and J.K. Rowlings have a thing or two in common. I’d also add that you are working on a higher plain than you give yourself credit for or others can see on the surface. What you describe here is a soul steeped in self-actualization and it’s a gift to not only listen to your Muse but inspire it. I heard the Dalai Lama once describe it this way and I’m going from memory here so forgive me- “Bad news/negativity take it on the logical level… in one ear out the other… good news/positivity take it on the emotional level… let it wash your heart and body.”
Steve, I’m confident you can sustain these body shots… I’m sure you feel them… that is human and part of being in the ring… but what others don’t realize is your creativity and resilience to jab, combo, and knockout the best that Resistance has to offer or even it’s proxies.
Keep up a strong training camp for your next bout… after all it’s the miles and pages that matter… the book or article is just the product of your commitment.
I believe in you (I’m sure many others do too)… but even better… you believe in you!
I have a hard enough time talking about finished works, let alone explaining what I’m trying to work on. But the “reactions” (I put it in quotes because I think it was more your perception than truth)you got are also why I never talk about my WIPs–it is so easy to have your hopes for a project dashed. Talking about a project shares the same disadvantage that writing a synopsis about it does, there’s none of the great words on the page that make an idea work. So I’m glad you’re going for it.
Great article, you continue to inspire and energize me and I really appreciate it. Keep slugging away brother, we are all behind you! BTW, I love the idea of leaving yourself a message but I am also amused by the notion of leaving a message at ‘home’. In this day of cell phones/google voice I live the life of an urban bedouin carrying my tools and my belongings in my backpack.
Have Wacom, will travel.
Well said Steven. I am in the midst of my own transformation and these gales are strong now. Gotta hang on with my fingernails most days. Like you said the nay-say’ers are idiots both inwardly and outwardly. Its only the muse we must aim to please.
Steven, for my own taste, this is the most important and powerful piece I have read by you. Oh, did you get my phone message? It said: “We’re all behind you.”