Like you, I enjoy literature that shows the full dimensionality of character, where rather than black hats and white hats everyone is wearing their true colors. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy the Indian mythos so much: the heroes have flaws, the villains have virtues, and as a result it is easier to identify with them for an average audience.

In the initial example, I think the point is that when the guy says “I don’t wanna judge” he seems to be not judging the acts as well as the person. Is everyone who cheats, has a DWI, etc. evil? No, of course not. But they also have to be held responsible for their actions, and make restitution. If that sentence had been followed by “Nice how the counseling helped him and his wife, and he’s been Clean & Sober for three years now. Jill & her daughter also got a written apology hand-delivered to her house by him when he realized how much his words had hurt.” That changes the story, without taking away from the initial impact of the actions.

Again, can’t speak for Steven. But what I took away from this is that while you can’t change what has been done, you can’t just dismiss it, either. “The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is etc.”

Nowadays, things are more boisterous, but the national character here is still to keep your mouth shut and not reveal who you are. There is talking behind someone’s back as well as saying nothing. Many people do not want to show who they really are. They don’t want to be disliked or appear “rude.”

As I said, things have changed some. I try to tell the truth with kindness and respect. In some cases, I check to see if someone is open to my opinion before I offer it. I talk to my New Zealand friends about how dishonest this trait seems to me. I encourage them to tell me the truth and then thank them for it.

In closing, I see more people speaking up by imitating the straightforwardness of others. I really embrace it when they don’t use other voices and styles as an intermediary.

It’s important that we develop our own opinions and make judgements, and it seems so strange people are afraid to make their own judgements based on the fact that others will pass judgements back. It’s almost as if people choose to opt out entirely in hopes of establishing an impossible neutrality. I think the key lies in developing strong judgements and stances, but holding them loosely and being ready to reevaluate and adjust them if you discover them to be mistaken.

Love the site, and great post.

thanks again,

daedalus

That last line goes into my copybook of inspiring phrases with your name under it. Thank you very much for the wise words and the lesson.