Writing Wednesdays

Writing Wednesdays

The Girl from WAZE

By Steven Pressfield | Published: August 22, 2012

I’ve been traveling overseas for the past few weeks, and one of things I’ve encountered is a vehicle navigation system called WAZE. WAZE has a couple of cool features that I’d never seen before. (Forgive me if this kind of system is old-hat to you; it was blockbuster, earth-shaking news to me.)

Julie Andrews

The Girl from WAZE sounded a little like Julie Andrews

First, WAZE takes traffic into account in real time. Accidents, speed traps, construction delays; WAZE is on the case, suggesting alternative routes and automatically recalculating your ETA. It presents you with three choices of route, including the estimated time-to-destination of each. “Ah, it’s 21.6 minutes by Route A and 24.7 minutes taking Route B.” I liked that.

Then there was the Girl From WAZE. The voice that guided you. If you missed your destination (say, within some crazy maze of one-way streets in an inner city), she would instantly recalculate and tell you how to zig and zag to get back on target.

But the best part was that she didn’t get mad at you.

I’m so used to the frenetic, accusatory voice in my own head that, each time I cruised cluelessly past a destination into a labyrinth of Third World lanes and alleys, I was waiting for the Girl From WAZE to screech, “You idiot! I told you to turn right! Now look what you’ve got us into!”

Instead the Girl continued without judgment or condemnation. “In two hundred meters, turn right … then turn right again.” I liked that.

The Girl From WAZE got me thinking about self-talk. About the voice in my own head. Man, it would be great if I could reconfigure that voice into a friendly, knowledgeable, non-judgmental assistant/mentor/Muse like the Girl From WAZE.

The Girl From WAZE had a wonderful tone to her voice. Professional, focused, cool and collected. You felt that she was there for you only. She was not texting her girlfriends or checking her stock portfolio. She wasn’t multi-tasking. When she declared, “At the next roundabout, take the second exit,” you felt like she was there at Control Center, glued to the Big Board. Her intent was entirely to help you.

I was glad, too, that the voice was a woman. If it had been a guy, the vibes would’ve been different. A man’s voice would’ve pissed me off. It would’ve triggered my competitive instincts. “Who does this sonofabitch think he is?” I would be saying to myself, “Bossing me around like this!” (A female driver might feel differently, I suppose. She might like a male voice.) But for me, a woman was perfect.

The last great thing was that the Girl From WAZE spoke with an English accent. Not too English. Just English enough. Clean and crisp (so I could understand it), professional (like a flight attendant), with just the right balance between authoritativeness and helpful, friendly deference.

I found the voice kinda sexy. When I got out of the car, I missed it. I wished the Girl From WAZE could have followed me back to the hotel. “At the closet, take down your gym stuff and go for a nice workout.” I wouldn’t have minded if she tossed in the odd bit of praise. “You look particularly fetching in that houndstooth.” Or even a dash of concern. “Be careful crossing the dining room floor; the cleaning crew occasionally leaves a slick spot.” Nor would a dollop of love have gone unappreciated. “Please don’t stay too long at that dinner meeting; I miss you when you’re gone.”

The subject here, of course, is self-talk. The Girl From WAZE was great because she never judged or condemned, as the voices in our own heads sometimes do. When you screwed up, she did not take you to task. Nor did she panic. She was resourceful. When we got lost, she immediately turned her attention not to blame or recrimination but to how to get us un-lost. And she did it. Instantly and infallibly.

As artists and entrepreneurs seeking perfection, it’s easy for you and me to get caught up in internal self-flagellation when we fall short. “That was the crappiest plie I’ve ever seen!” And we can lose focus on the target. Did we start this business to do some good in the world or just to screw people and make money?

The Girl From WAZE didn’t fall into these traps. “In eight hundred meters, bear right.” I liked that. It was fun having her with me in the car. I worked better. I didn’t grind my molars as much. The Girl From WAZE was my secular Muse.

I missed her when she was gone.

Posted in Writing Wednesdays

16 Responses to “The Girl from WAZE”

  1. August 22, 2012 at 5:09 am

    God I love Writing Wednesdays. I woke up, went to my google reader, and clicked on this link.

    Amazing how you turned a GPS assistant into an insightful lesson.

  2. Sonja
    August 22, 2012 at 6:17 am

    Oh man, that was entertaining and powerful. How true, Steven.

    I know my inner voice can be brutal to the point of cruelty. It’s like a nasty snake that threatens to coil itself around my neck, choking me…as I push forward in my art.

    It’s a daily struggle to shut down that internal critic.

  3. Brian Durkin
    August 22, 2012 at 7:16 am

    Love it Steven. Unfortunately, the judge voice in my head sounds more like Chris Farley doing his most self-deprecating screams most of the time. “That scene sucks! New guy, puking in the back!” I need to download the WAZE voice.

  4. Jennie
    August 22, 2012 at 7:35 am

    I admit, my inside voice is typically more akin to Chris Farley than this calm, supportive Girl From MAZE you’ve described.

    (imagine the scene where he starts smacking the side of his head and muttering, “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”)

    A great read, as always, and a great prompter to evaluate self talk. Thank you, sir. May I have another?

    • Jennie
      August 22, 2012 at 7:44 am

      WAZE, not MAZE.

  5. August 22, 2012 at 7:52 am

    You can get WAZE as an app for iPhone and most likely Android – invaluable for L.A. traffic! It does use a lot of battery, esp in 3D mode, so I usually plug the phone in to charge while driving.

    Great reminder on the self-talk. Thanks!

  6. August 22, 2012 at 8:40 am

    We need to be observers of that voice in the head. When it is screaming and cajoling, just observe without getting engaged. Participating with the voice, we become victims of it.
    It is part of being mindful.
    Thanks Steven for an awesome metaphor.

  7. August 22, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Ah, so she didn’t suggest “slam your head on the wheel and ask yourself ‘How the Hell did I get here?’” Simply adjust and keep moving forward. Nice.

  8. August 22, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Yeah, voice in my head tells me I’m a waste of space even when I get things right.

    Fortunately, I chose to marry someone who is, 99.9% of the time, the Girl from WAZE in my life. “Everything is fine. Just move this, and set that, and finish here, and everything is fine.” And she’s usually rubbing my arm gently when she says it. Girl from WAZE can’t even rub my arm, can she?

  9. gs
    August 22, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    But the best part was that she didn’t get mad at you.

    Thanks for highlighting that. The comments are insightful too.

    Valid advice in a demeaning voice is one of Resistance’s nastier tricks.

  10. August 22, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Love the analogy! Your post gave me a good laugh since I’ve been known to respond in kind to other navigation systems voices that are not patient or helpful …more like long-suffering and condescending. Now I’m wondering if I’ve been projecting onto a recording…

  11. Basilis
    August 22, 2012 at 11:51 pm

    True and amusing thoughts!
    I think that the voice inside us is as resourceful and non judgmental as the waze voice(It’s the first time I hear about this GPS system). But when this voice goes by to the Ego a lot of other stuff are blended with…
    Anyway, we should be aware when the inner voice says “turn left” there where clearly is a dead-end.

  12. August 23, 2012 at 6:09 am

    Love this~ You’re such a gift! Thank you.

  13. Harlan Gleeson
    August 23, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    way to go steve. like the part where you just sort of regroup and redirect without too much self injury. it is a habit and it can be broken…

  14. Nancy N
    August 26, 2012 at 12:18 am

    If only the girl from WAZE could neutrally and non judgmentally track me back in life decisions that veered me from my better nature. Can we re-program the inner GPS in terms of not only its tone but ability to more safely navigate now that we have the super civilized, spot on model of automotive GPS?

  15. September 17, 2012 at 11:25 am

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