Warriors and Mothers

 

 

What are the virtues of an entrepreneur?

Allison Janney as "Mom"

Allison Janney as “Mom”

What qualities of mind do you and I need if we are going to succeed as artist/entrepreneurs?

One answer (the one I usually use) is to say we need the virtues of warriors:

Courage.

Self-reliance.

The ability to endure adversity.

Another way is to say we need the virtues of mothers.

I had a dream once. I was living in New York, driving a cab at night, trying to write in the daytime. A friend came to visit. My friend was one of these wildly extroverted guys, who immediately went out on the town and came back with fabulous stories of all the fun he was having. I found myself thinking, I should be like him. Why am I denying myself everything, busting my butt day and night? Have fun, Steve! Stop being such a monk!

Then I had the dream. In the dream another friend’s wife, who happened to be pregnant at that time, came to me and sat down at my kitchen table. “Steve, you are pregnant too,” she said, “with that book you’re writing. You can’t go out partying. Your responsibility is to the new life growing inside you.”

The dream was right.

I woke up and immediately stopped worrying.

That movie that’s gestating inside you? That’s your baby.

That novel.

That album.

That new business.

The virtues you and I need to develop are the virtues of mothers.

A mother puts her own needs second (or third or fourth or fifth.) The needs of her child come first.

A mother will kill to protect her baby.

She will sacrifice her own life.

She’ll run into a burning building to save her child.

She’ll lift a Buick off her infant with her bare hands.

A mother knows how to say no.

No, she won’t go to the club.

No, she won’t drink those mojitos.

No, she won’t ingest that banned substance.

A mother eats right.

A mother gets her sleep.

A mother weans herself off Facebook and Twitter and Pinterest and Instagram (at least most of the time.)

A mother is the definition of tough-minded.

A mother is the consummate professional.

She is in it for keeps.

She is in it for the long haul.

She is in it 24/7/365.

Nothing under the sun can shake a mother from her object, which is to nurture and protect and defend and prepare her baby to grow into its fullest possible potential.

A warrior is nothing compared to a mother.

Wanna be an artist? An entrepreneur?

Be a mother.

DO THE WORK

Steve shows you the predictable Resistance points that every writer hits in a work-in-progress and then shows you how to deal with each one of these sticking points. This book shows you how to keep going with your work.

do the work book banner 1

THE AUTHENTIC SWING

A short book about the writing of a first novel: for Steve, The Legend of Bagger Vance. Having failed with three earlier attempts at novels, here's how Steve finally succeeded.

The-Authentic-Swing

NOBODY WANTS TO READ YOUR SH*T

Steve shares his "lessons learned" from the trenches of the five different writing careers—advertising, screenwriting, fiction, nonfiction, and self-help. This is tradecraft. An MFA in Writing in 197 pages.

noboybookcover

TURNING PRO

Amateurs have amateur habits. Pros have pro habits. When we turn pro, we give up the comfortable life but we find our power. Steve answers the question, "How do we overcome Resistance?"

Turning-Pro

28 Comments

  1. Brian Nelson on May 17, 2017 at 6:41 am

    Dear Steve,
    We do not have children, the bipedal, save for college type anyway. It is a choice that frequently causes others to ask for an explanation inferring that we are selfish, Godless, Hedonists that have completely missed the meaning of life.

    Sometimes this hurts. We have been serial (mostly failed) entrepreneurs, and to answer that our animals, our businesses, our non-profits have been our ‘acts of creation together’ has rarely satisfied the traditional inquisitor.

    This post was confirming in a way that feels like coming home. Thank you.
    bsn

  2. fjr on May 17, 2017 at 7:06 am

    I might add that a dedicated mother is not continuously assessing and mourning what she is missing by virtue of being a mother rather than being footloose. Her eyes are on the road she travels, with all its challenges and richness.

  3. Mary Doyle on May 17, 2017 at 7:26 am

    I love the spirit and truth of this piece – thank you!

  4. Ceilon Aspensen on May 17, 2017 at 7:45 am

    Thanks. I needed this today. Last night I was thinking about how I live like a monk. My actual child is nearly 35 years old, married, no children. I live in one town and teach in another, so I have a little one-room efficiency apartment and zero social life after school…because I’m writing, writing, writing… I like thinking of myself as a mother of creative “children” more than I like the idea of being a monk. Thank you for a better metaphor.

  5. Cathy Perdue Ryan on May 17, 2017 at 8:19 am

    Well said. Thank you.
    And you won’t hear a dedicated pregnant mother-to-be talking about how the unborn child will probably be a failure and a disappointment, either. Hope and confidence in the child’s future help to fuel the dedication.

  6. Lise on May 17, 2017 at 8:39 am

    Dear Steve –

    Thank you. Mother’s Day has historically been hard for me. My own mother died by suicide, plus I have never been married or had children. This was the first Mother’s Day I was 100% okay with who I am. I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half ago to resume my first love- acting. Since being here I’ve been in a number of short films and commercials, published my book, and have found like minded people. The process of creating is akin to birth and raising a child- it demands EVERYTHING. But more than that, when we answer the call, we find our place in the world. Your books have been corner stones for me.

  7. BING on May 17, 2017 at 8:39 am

    Excellent – another wonderful way of seeing our true selves as I plow through the garbage of my false self.

    – Thanks

  8. Colleen Duggan on May 17, 2017 at 10:15 am

    This mother of six whose first book will be published in 2017, thanks you. My children have taught me what it means to be a professional. They’ve been my best inspiration and my best teachers.

  9. Anne Marie Gazzolo on May 17, 2017 at 11:53 am

    Wonderful inspiration as always! On behalf of all mothers who chose life for their children, I thank you for this beautiful tribute to them. We can all be and must be like them. I’ve got so many books inside me, I’ll be pregnant for the rest of my life, for as each is born, there are still many more waiting to be. Life is good! You rock, Steven. God bless.

  10. Mia Sherwood Landau on May 17, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    What happened in my brain, reading the post and then reading the comments (always read the comments!) was this – thinking about the creative work, the book, as a baby is easy. Babies are cute and darling, making the noise, mess and interruption easier to tolerate. Teenagers are not that cute and darling, and their noise, mess and interruptions are far more aggravating. I wonder if my book isn’t born yet because I know the pregnancy is ‘way easier than the birth and the upbringing these days, meaning the never-ending marketing and promotion phase. Just my thoughts about your thoughts… Very helpful, Steven.

    • Regina on May 17, 2017 at 3:10 pm

      only to quote some guy I read: “Stay stupid!”

      …and somehow that’s not so hard if you live with a teenager! lol

      Which passion are you going to feed? Not that fear monster, leave him in the dirt!

    • Christine on May 17, 2017 at 9:03 pm

      Thank you Steve for this ode to mothers. I too read the comments, and have these comments on the comments:
      – teenagers are a gift… a work of art in progress
      – pregnancy and motherhood can be so all-consuming that there is no room for any other creative project
      – dedicated mothers, AMAZING mothers, may very well mourn what they are missing by “virtue” (interesting word choice) of being mothers.
      – a wonderful mother-to-be may very well be terrified that her baby will grow up to be a failure at knowing how to live life.
      – the mother ethos is a metaphor, just as the warrior ethos is a metaphor. Just as writing a novel is NOT the same as watching friends die on the battlefield as you get torn by shrapnel… writing a novel is also not the same as pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood.
      These are useful metaphors that help us find strength to achieve the extraordinary. It isn’t helpful to mothers (nor veneran warriors) to see them as anything other than regular people like anyone else. Ordinary people. Not on a pedestal.
      It is our insistence of putting great novelists on a pedestal that prevents us too from achieving greatness.

  11. Jim Gant on May 17, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    Steve,

    Amen to today’s post.

    Truer words have never been spoken!

    Jim

  12. Takis on May 17, 2017 at 11:08 pm

    That was right in the heart

  13. gwen abitz on May 18, 2017 at 4:26 am

    The greatest EVER, Steve: “Nothing under the sun can shake a mother from her object, which is to nurture and protect and defend and prepare her baby to grow into its fullest possible potential.” My Baby is not about writing “the story” – My Baby is TO KNOW and SHARE [from all that I have learned on My Journey] we all have the “potential” to be able to touch the dimension of consciousness within ourselves that can never be hurt or wounded no matter “what happened” and is done when in The Present Moment. LOVE this quote that came my way when needed: “When you are born in a world you don’t fit in, it’s because you were born to help create a new one.” ~Anonymous~

  14. Mike SHapiro on May 24, 2017 at 7:40 am

    Great post. It brings to mind Josh Olsen’s now classic ‘I will Not Read Your Fucking Script’: http://www.villagevoice.com/2009/09/09/i-will-not-read-your-fucking-script/ I don’t think Pressfield is saying we ought not be generous. More likely that we are not obligated to respond to an endless stream of requests. The lack of awareness on the part of the asker that this stream exists is part of their cluelessness.

  15. Brad Larson on May 30, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    This post changed my perspective. Thank you.

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  17. arnold dk on December 1, 2021 at 1:02 am

    So I read this knowing I would disagree with most of the content but tried to have an open mind in order to understand the anti-vaccine movement better and to learn some of the arguments, and perhaps I would find it entertaining…oh, and it was also $2. Unfortunately not so. My heart really does go out to parents of children with autism. This book does a disservice to these people however by misleading. She clearly jumps around with conflicting positions, unrelated arguments, and unfounded contentions. She allows different “mother warriors” to get their stories out (which although moving to hear of the difficulties, becomes fairly repetitive without adding anything of substance to the argument or central point of the book). It becomes quite clear very early that it is merely a propaganda forum and also a highly commercialized advertisement for various companies and unfounded “cures”

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    The spirit of courage, resiliency, and love is exquisitely captured in Warriors and Mothers. It serves as a reminder that bravery may take many different forms, including motherly embraces and battlefields. A strong and motivating homage to these exceptional roles.

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  25. Clean on March 27, 2024 at 1:52 pm

    This piece beautifully articulates the dual nature of the passion and dedication required to bring creative and entrepreneurial ventures to life, comparing the virtues of warriors and mothers. It suggests that while the warrior’s qualities of courage, self-reliance, and endurance are essential, the maternal instincts to nurture, protect, and sacrifice for the creation are equally vital. The analogy of being pregnant with your project underscores the depth of commitment needed to see an idea through to fruition. It’s a compelling reminder that true dedication often requires putting the project’s needs before your own, mirroring the selflessness and strength found in motherhood. A powerful call to embrace both the warrior’s fight and the mother’s love in the pursuit of one’s creative and entrepreneurial dreams.

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