THE STORY GRID: A Five Part Video Series from Shawn Coyne.

Writing Wednesdays

Writing Wednesdays

“Find What You Love and Let It Kill You”

By Steven Pressfield
Published: August 26, 2015

This is my favorite of all the posts we’ve ever run on this site. (Mainly because it’s not written by me.) I read it every few months just to psych myself up. It’s an article written by English concert pianist James Rhodes that appeared originally in the Guardian (UK).

Why do I love Mr. Rhodes’ story of his bold move to change his life and become an artist?

1) Because James is a late bloomer. Much as I admire child prodigies, I hate them too because they found their calling so young and with so little agony. I like to see someone suffer before they find their way.

2) James’ saga illustrates the depth of passion that such a journey requires—and the depth of madness. (Note the casual allusion to “nine months in a mental hospital.”)

3) James’ does not romanticize his life as an artist. No, he does not sail through the day whistling and grinning. And yes, the grind is still a grind. But he has gone from working for the Man to being the Man himself.

James Rhodes, my artistic hero

My life as a concert pianist can be frustrating, lonely, demoralising and exhausting. But is it worth it? Yes, without a shadow of a doubt

James Rhodes

Friday 26 April 2013

After the inevitable “How many hours a day do you practice?” and “Show me your hands”, the most common thing people say to me when they hear I’m a pianist is “I used to play the piano as a kid. I really regret giving it up.” I imagine authors have lost count of the number of people who have told them they “always had a book inside them”. We seem to have evolved into a society of mourned and misplaced creativity. A world where people have simply surrendered to (or been beaten into submission by) the sleepwalk of work, domesticity, mortgage repayments, junk food, junk TV, junk everything, angry ex-wives, ADHD kids and the lure of eating chicken from a bucket while emailing clients at 8pm on a weekend.

Do the math. We can function—sometimes quite brilliantly—on six hours’ sleep a night. Eight hours of work was more than good enough for centuries (oh the desperate irony that we actually work longer hours since the invention of the internet and smartphones). Four hours will amply cover picking the kids up, cleaning the flat, eating, washing and the various etceteras. We are left with six hours. 360 minutes to do whatever we want. Is what we want simply to numb out and give Simon Cowell even more money? To scroll through Twitter and Facebook looking for romance, bromance, cats, weather reports, obituaries and gossip? To get nostalgically, painfully drunk in a pub where you can’t even smoke?

What if you could know everything there is to know about playing the piano in under an hour (something the late, great Glenn Gould claimed, correctly I believe, was true)? The basics of how to practise and how to read music, the physical mechanics of finger movement and posture, all the tools necessary to actually play a piece – these can be written down and imparted like a flat-pack furniture how-to-build-it manual; it then is down to you to scream and howl and hammer nails through fingers in the hope of deciphering something unutterably alien until, if you’re very lucky, you end up with something halfway resembling the end product.

What if for a couple of hundred quid you could get an old upright on eBay delivered? And then you were told that with the right teacher and 40 minutes proper practice a day you could learn a piece you’ve always wanted to play within a few short weeks. Is that not worth exploring?

What if rather than a book club you joined a writer’s club? Where every week you had to (really had to) bring three pages of your novel, novella, screenplay and read them aloud?

What if, rather than paying £70 a month for a gym membership that delights in making you feel fat, guilty and a world away from the man your wife married you bought a few blank canvases and some paints and spent time each day painting your version of “I love you” until you realised that any woman worth keeping would jump you then and there just for that, despite your lack of a six-pack?

I didn’t play the piano for 10 years. A decade of slow death by greed working in the City, chasing something that never existed in the first place (security, self-worth, Don Draper albeit a few inches shorter and a few women fewer). And only when the pain of not doing it got greater than the imagined pain of doing it did I somehow find the balls to pursue what I really wanted and had been obsessed by since the age of seven—to be a concert pianist.

Admittedly I went a little extreme—no income for five years, six hours a day of intense practice, monthly four-day long lessons with a brilliant and psychopathic teacher in Verona, a hunger for something that was so necessary it cost me my marriage, nine months in a mental hospital, most of my dignity and about 35lbs in weight. And the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is not perhaps the Disney ending I’d envisaged as I lay in bed aged 10 listening to Horowitz devouring Rachmaninov at Carnegie Hall.
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ADDITIONAL READING » ALEXANDER THE GREAT

Alexander the Great

Alexander the Great

Campaigns of Alexander, The

by Arrian

This is the Penguin paperback, translated by Aubrey de Selincourt, with an intro by J.R. Hamilton, one of the best Alexander scholars. It’s the most readable and really gives you a sense of what all the fuss is about.

Anabasis of Alexander

by Arrian

Same book as The Campaigns of Alexander, different title, from the Loeb Classical Library (in two volumes), translated by another top scholar, P.A. Brunt. Not as contemporary a read as de Selincourt’s but very much the real deal.

Alexander the Great and the Logistics of the Macedonian Army

by Engels, Donald

Military men say that amateurs talk tactics, professionals talk logistics. If so, this book is pure pro. Engels explores such questions as, “How many mules can carry how many pounds for how many miles at what speed before they completely crap out?” I love this stuff.

Generalship of Alexander the Great, The

by Fuller, J.F.C.

Shrewd insights into how Alexander fought and how his principles fit into the broader picture of warfare over the centuries. By one of the greatest military historians of our time or any other.

Genius of Alexander the Great, The

by Hammond, N.G.L.

I just like Hammond’s re-imagining of Alexander. His speculations ring true to me.

Alexander the Great

by Hammond, N.G.L.

I just like Hammond’s re-imagining of Alexander. His speculations ring true to me.

Life of Alexander the Great, The

by Plutarch

Under thirty pages, but crammed with anecdotes and insights, from a far greater writer than Arrian or Curtius. But skewed, too, in its own way. Great stuff.

History of Alexander

by Quintus Curtius (Loeb Library, translated by J.C. Rolfe)

Along with the Alexander sections of Diodorus Siculus’ Library of History, this is the other main ancient source. Interesting how the same incidents are narrated from wholly different points of view, new material added, crucial stuff left out. You can see why it’s so hard to get a handle on the real Alexander.

Nature of Alexander, The

by Renault, Mary

Without The Persian Boy and Fire From Heaven, I wouldn’t be writing at all. These novels of Alexander inspired me years ago when I first read them—and they still read great today. Mary Renault also wrote an interesting non-fiction book, The Nature of Alexander.

Fire from Heaven

by Renault, Mary

Without The Persian Boy and Fire From Heaven, I wouldn’t be writing at all. These novels of Alexander inspired me years ago when I first read them—and they still read great today. Mary Renault also wrote an interesting non-fiction book, The Nature of Alexander.

Persian Boy, The

by Renault, Mary

Without The Persian Boy and Fire From Heaven, I wouldn’t be writing at all. These novels of Alexander inspired me years ago when I first read them—and they still read great today. Mary Renault also wrote an interesting non-fiction book, The Nature of Alexander.

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