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What It Takes

What It Takes

Stick It To The Doorknob

By Callie Oettinger
Published: October 24, 2014

My neighbor called yesterday. She was in the hospital and her husband’s cell phone wasn’t working. He’d forgotten to bring a few things with him and was on his way back home to pack another bag for her. Would I pop over and ask him to grab a few extra things to bring back to the hospital?

I adore these neighbors and would do anything to help them, so I dropped what I was doing and stuck my head outside. Empty car port.

Back inside, I grabbed a sticky pad and pen and scribbled a note with the items she needed, then headed to the kitchen for a plastic bag. It was raining and I needed the note to survive. Only gallon-sized freezer bags were in the designated baggie-tin-foil-and-cling-wrap drawer. (Noted to self: Buy more sandwich-sized bags and hide from 6-year-old who hordes them for random rocks, pilfered coins, and other bric-a-brac).

No Scotch-tape in site (also most-likely claimed by the 6-year-old), I grabbed a tape gun, tucked it under my arm and headed back outside, note-stuffed gallon bag in one hand and umbrella in the other.

Not wanting to risk paint pulling from their door if I taped the note to it (and thus a call from the horrid HOA to repaint, which is the horrid HOA’s M.O.), I stared, wondering about the best placement. The door knocker made the most sense. It was centered, toward the top of the door. Because the note was in a gallon-sized plastic bag, it would hang below the knocker, at about my neighbor’s eye-level, note facing out through the clear plastic.

A few minutes after drying off inside, I heard his car. Moving faster than a TMZ informer sniffing out a payday, I stuck my head back out. The note was still on the front door as he shut it behind him.

What to do?

Did he see it and leave it because he was in a rush? Or did he tell himself he’d read it on the way out?


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ADDITIONAL READING » ALEXANDER THE GREAT

Alexander the Great

Alexander the Great

Campaigns of Alexander, The

by Arrian

This is the Penguin paperback, translated by Aubrey de Selincourt, with an intro by J.R. Hamilton, one of the best Alexander scholars. It’s the most readable and really gives you a sense of what all the fuss is about.

Anabasis of Alexander

by Arrian

Same book as The Campaigns of Alexander, different title, from the Loeb Classical Library (in two volumes), translated by another top scholar, P.A. Brunt. Not as contemporary a read as de Selincourt’s but very much the real deal.

Alexander the Great and the Logistics of the Macedonian Army

by Engels, Donald

Military men say that amateurs talk tactics, professionals talk logistics. If so, this book is pure pro. Engels explores such questions as, “How many mules can carry how many pounds for how many miles at what speed before they completely crap out?” I love this stuff.

Generalship of Alexander the Great, The

by Fuller, J.F.C.

Shrewd insights into how Alexander fought and how his principles fit into the broader picture of warfare over the centuries. By one of the greatest military historians of our time or any other.

Genius of Alexander the Great, The

by Hammond, N.G.L.

I just like Hammond’s re-imagining of Alexander. His speculations ring true to me.

Alexander the Great

by Hammond, N.G.L.

I just like Hammond’s re-imagining of Alexander. His speculations ring true to me.

Life of Alexander the Great, The

by Plutarch

Under thirty pages, but crammed with anecdotes and insights, from a far greater writer than Arrian or Curtius. But skewed, too, in its own way. Great stuff.

History of Alexander

by Quintus Curtius (Loeb Library, translated by J.C. Rolfe)

Along with the Alexander sections of Diodorus Siculus’ Library of History, this is the other main ancient source. Interesting how the same incidents are narrated from wholly different points of view, new material added, crucial stuff left out. You can see why it’s so hard to get a handle on the real Alexander.

Nature of Alexander, The

by Renault, Mary

Without The Persian Boy and Fire From Heaven, I wouldn’t be writing at all. These novels of Alexander inspired me years ago when I first read them—and they still read great today. Mary Renault also wrote an interesting non-fiction book, The Nature of Alexander.

Fire from Heaven

by Renault, Mary

Without The Persian Boy and Fire From Heaven, I wouldn’t be writing at all. These novels of Alexander inspired me years ago when I first read them—and they still read great today. Mary Renault also wrote an interesting non-fiction book, The Nature of Alexander.

Persian Boy, The

by Renault, Mary

Without The Persian Boy and Fire From Heaven, I wouldn’t be writing at all. These novels of Alexander inspired me years ago when I first read them—and they still read great today. Mary Renault also wrote an interesting non-fiction book, The Nature of Alexander.

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